– Ngingamkhohlwa kanjani umuntu? Ngibambekile, ngingenzani?
– Ngineminyaka engu-21, ngisanda kuqala eyunivesithi. Kukhona intombazane engiyithandayo ekilasini, kodwa isesigabeni esihlukile. Ngokuvamile abanye nabo basemakilasini ethu, kodwa angizizwa ngingowabo, futhi abangibizi uma beya ndawonye ngemva kwesikole. Ngakho-ke, angibonakali kulelo qembu.
– Izolo baphinde baya kuyo mdlalo we-okey, abanye bayaya kwi-cafe, ngoba bayahamba ndawonye njalo. Ngiyakhathala, ngiyaphoxeka ngoba angibizwanga futhi angizizwa ngikhululekile kulelo qembu, ngakho angifuni ukuya nabo. Kodwa intombi engiyithandayo ikulelo qembu, futhi ukubona abanye abafana eduze kwayo kuyangihlula, ngezinye izikhathi angilali.
– Angifuni ukumvulela isifuba ngoba akukho okunjalo enkolweni yethu. Futhi siyabona nsuku zonke ngoba sifunda ekilasini elilodwa.
– Ngiyavuma, ngifuna ukumkhohlwa manje, mfundisi. Angifuni ukuba nomona uma ngimbona eqenjini labafana namantombazane. Ungangicebisa ngani?
Mthandiwe, mzalwane wethu,
UNkulunkulu wanika umuntu imizwa, futhi akazange ayibekele imingcele eminye yale mizwa. Wasiyala ukuba siyithobe, siyihlele, futhi siyilawule. Uma sikwazi ukwenza lokhu, sizoba nokuthula okukhulu kokubili kuleli zwe nakwelinye. Namuhla, kwi-psychology, lokhu…
“ubuhlakani bemizwa”
kuyashiwo.
Umuntu uqala ukufunda ukulawula imizwelo yakhe kusukela ebuntwaneni. Ebusheni noma ebudaleni, uqhubeka nokuziqinisa intando yakhe nokuvuthwa ngokusebenzisa imizwelo yakhe ngendlela enhle neyifanele.
Okwakho okumele ukwenze lapha yilezi:
Njengomuntu osanda kuqala impilo yaseyunivesithi, ukuthuthukisa ubuhlakani bakho bemizwa nokulawula ukugeleza kwemizwa yakho ngentando yakho, hhayi ngesifiso sakho, kuyithuba elihle kuwe. Ukuze wenze lokhu, qala ngokusebenza emicabangweni yakho.
Njengoba kwaziwa
imizwa, imicabango
futhi
izindlela zokuziphatha
Zibonisaneni. Okokuqala, cabanga ngobuhlungu nangezinkinga ezingase zibangelwe ubudlelwano obunjalo, bese uzikholwise ngalokho.
Ngokwesibonelo, ubuhlobo phakathi kwentombazane nomfana obuqala eminyakeni yaseyunivesithi –
ngokuba yona ingavunyelwe (haram) futhi ibanga izinkinga eziningi emhlabeni nasesikhathini esizayo.
–
kodwa amaphesenti amahlanu kuphela aphelela emshadweni.
Uma ucabanga ngakho, kumele ukholwe ukuthi lobu bungane buzophela ngokushesha. Ubudlelwano phakathi kwentombazane nomfana obuthatha isikhathi esingaphezu konyaka, noma ngabe bukhanga kuwe, buzokukhathala kakhulu ngokwezimali, ngokomoya nangokwengqondo.
Ngaphandle kokuthwala umthwalo wakhe wezimali unyaka wonke, uzophinde ubhekane nemithwalo yakhe, izimo zengqondo, izinkanuko, umona, nokucasuka.
Bhekani, nase ngenwa yimibono yomona, kanti intombazane leyo ayikazi ngisho nani.
Ubunikele amandla engqondo obuwadinga ukuba uwasebenzise ekusaseni lakho nasekufundeni kwakho kule ndaba.
Uma lokhu kuqhubeka, ngemva konyaka kuzokushiya nesipiliyoni esibuhlungu, ukulimala ngokwengqondo, ukuzizwa ulahliwe, okungakwenza ube nenzondo yaphakade ngomshado nabesifazane. Ngempela, ngisho nasebudlelwaneni bomshado, lapho kukhona khona izingxabano ezinkulu nokungahlaliseki, cabanga nje ukuthi kungaba yini ukungahlaliseki ebudlelwaneni obungaphandle komshado phakathi kwabesilisa nabesifazane.
Okunye okubaluleke kakhulu,
izono ezizotholwa ngokuthanda okungavumelekile
Ngoba ngempela, isijeziso senu sikhona ngale kwalomhlaba. Kungenzeka ukulawula imizwa yenu ngemicabango enjengalezi.
Ngaphandle kwalokho, kungase kukufanele ukuthi ucabangele nezinye zezeluleko zethu:
– Uma ungakwazi ukuzibamba ekugxileni endabeni eyodwa, ikhambi ukugxila kwenye indaba.
Ngakho-ke, zibekeleni umgomo ngaphakathi kwesithakazelo kanye namakhono enu, bese nenza izinhlelo zokufinyelela lowo mgomo. Lokhu kungaba yindaba ephathelene nempilo yenu yobungcweti, noma kungaba yindaba ezonisiza ukuba nizuze impilo yaphakade. Ngokwesibonelo, kungaba ukufunda olunye ulimi oluzoba lusizo kakhulu empilweni yenu yobungcweti, noma kungaba umgomo ophathelene nendawo enifunda kuyo.
– Ukuzivocavoca, uma kunokwenzeka, ukuzibandakanya kwezemidlalo njengokushushuluza, ithenisi yetafula, ibhasikidi noma ukubhukuda nakho kuzokusiza ukushintsha ukugxila kwakho.
–
Ungacabanga ukuthi amathuba akho okufunda azoba mancane empilweni yakho yobungcweti, ngakho ungakha uhlu lwezincwadi ezizokusiza ekuthuthukiseni isiko lakho, ukholo lwakho kanye nentuthuko yakho siqu, bese uhlela ukuzifunda ngokushesha.
– Izinkundla zokuxhumana zinezinkulungwane zezinto ezivusa inkanuko ezivusa isifiso nentshisekelo ngobulili obuhlukile.
Ngakho-ke, ngisho nengqondo yomuntu ongenacala kakhulu ingase ivuselelwe imizwa yakhe uma echitha isikhathi esithile ezinkundleni zokuxhumana. Futhi, ngokusebenzisa ubuhlakani bakho bemizwa, ukuletha ubuqotho ekusetshenzisweni kwezinkundla zokuxhumana kuzokusiza ukuthi ulawule imizwa yakho kalula, uNkulunkulu ethanda.
– Umphumela wokucabanga ngento kanye nomphumela wokuyizwa ngempela uyefana. Ngokwesibonelo, noma ungayidlanga ilamula, uma uzenza ngathi uyayidla, umlomo wakho uyababa. Uma ucabanga ngomuntu omthandayo efa, umphimbo wakho uyabopha.
– Ngokwesayensi
isikhathi sokukhohlwa ubudlelwano obudlule obungokomzwelo
Ubudelelezi buhluka ngokwezinga lobunzima bemicimbi eyenzekile, kodwa ngokuvamile buhlala kusukela emasontweni ayisithupha kuya ezinyangeni ezintathu.
Ngiyethemba ukuthi ngemuva kwezinyanga ezintathu, uzokhohlwa konke, njengoba kungekho okwenzeka phakathi kwenu.
Uma uqala ukuthola ubunzima, thandaza njalo futhi ucele usizo kuNkulunkulu.
Umnikazi wezinhliziyo nguAllah.
UNkulunkulu uzokusiza njengoba asiza uMprofethi uJosefa (ukuthula kube kuye).
Owesifazane owayesendlini yakhe wamfuna ukuba naye. Wavala iminyango kahle, wabe…
“Hayo, woza!”
kusho. Naye
“Cha, ngiyaziphepha kuNkulunkulu! Umyeni wakho ungumphathi wami, wangenzela umusa wangivulela indlu yakhe. Iqiniso liwukuthi abantu abanobudlova abasoze baphumelela!”
kusho.
(bheka uYusuf, 12/23)
Ngiyabingelela ngithandazela…
UbuSulumane Ngemibuzo
