– Ingabe izingane ezinceliswa ngumama oyincelisayo zivumelekile ukushada nezingane zakhe, noma kukhona yini ubunzima ekushadeni kwazo?
Mthandiwe, mzalwane wethu,
Ukuzalana ngobisi,
Kungenye yezithiyo zomshado ezitholakala kuphela kumthetho wamaSulumane.
Lo mthetho uvezwe kuvesi 23 weSurah An-Nisa, lapho uNkulunkulu uSomandla enqabela amadoda akholwayo ukushada nabomama ababancelisayo kanye nabodade ababancelisayo. Kukhona futhi iHadith ekhuluma ngalokhu…
“Konke okuharamu ngokuya ngomzalo (ngokuzalwa), kuyaharamu futhi ngokuya ngomncwabo.”
kuyalelwe.
(Muslim, Redâ: 1)
Enye yezinzuzo ezinkulu zokwenqabela lokhu ukuthi ubisi lomuntu, okuyinto ehlonipheke kakhulu, lunenani elikhulu, futhi ngobisi kwakheka ubuhlobo obukhethekile nobusondelene phakathi kwabantu.
Ubisi,
Ubudlelwane phakathi komama nengane busebenzisa isibopho somzimba, esakha ubudlelwane bomphefumulo nobungokomoya obungenakususwa. Ubudlelwane ngobisi buyindlela ehlukile yokusizana phakathi kwabantu, isici esizimele sokusondelana. Ngakho-ke, abantu abanobudlelwane ngobisi babhekwa njengabantu abasondelene kakhulu, futhi ukushada phakathi kwabo kuyavinjelwa.
Phakathi kwabo, ukubuka ngamehlo kuyavumelekile, kodwa ukushada kuyenqatshelwe.
Kufanele kuqashelisiswe kakhulu ukuthi akukho yini ubuhlobo lobisi phakathi kwabantu abazoshada.
Ngoba ubuhlobo ngobisi buyisithiyo somshado. Ngokuka-Imam-ı Azam, isikhathi esiphezulu kusukela ekuzalweni kuya emshadweni yiminyaka emibili nengxenye (izinyanga ezingama-30).
—Ngokuka-Imam Muhammad no-Imam Abu Yusuf, iminyaka emibili—
Kuze kube ngemuva kwalokho, owesifazane oncelisa noma oncelisa umntwana ngobisi lwakhe ubizwa ngokuthi umama oncelisayo.
Ngokumunca lokhu
Ukuzalana ngobisi kwenzeka phakathi komntwana nomzanyana, abantu abaseduze nomzanyana, kanye nabanye abantu abancelisa ubisi kumzanyana oyedwa, okubenza babe abazalane ngobisi.
Noma yincane kangakanani, ukuthi ubisi lufike esiswini kwanele.
Akudingeki ukuba umntwana ancancise, kwanele ukuba ubisi lukanina lufike esiswini somntwana ngezinye iindlela.
Ngokwemfundiso yamaShafi’i namaHanbali.
Ukuncelisa kanye akusho ukuthi kukhona ubuhlobo lobisi. Ingane kumele incelise okungenani izikhathi ezinhlanu.
Ngemuva kwesikhathi sokuncelisa esingafika eminyakeni emibili nengxenye, ubuhlobo bokuncelisa buyaphela. Ngamanye amazwi, ingane esikhulile kuneminyaka emibili nengxenye ayiseyona ingane yokuncelisa yomuntu wesifazane eyayincelisa.
Abesifazane abesilisa abangakwazi ukushada nabo ngenxa yobudlelwane lobisi yibo laba:
1. Umama omuhlengikazi;
Umama wengane ngumama wayo ngokuzalwa nangokuncelisa. Ngakho-ke, umuntu akakwazi ukushada nomama wakhe wengane. Akakwazi futhi ukushada nomama wengane wakhe noma umama wakhe wengane. Ukuvinjelwa okufanayo kusebenza naku baba wengane, umama wakhe wengane noma ugogo wakhe wengane.
2. Amantombazane abancelisa umfazi wakhe;
Abantwana abanceliswe ubisi; amantombazane abo. Ngakho-ke, indoda ayikwazi ukushada namantombazane anceliswe ubisi ngumfazi wayo. Ngoba nabo bangamantombazane ayo anceliswe ubisi. Ngokufanayo, akuvunyelwe ukushada namantombazane anceliswe ubisi ngamantombazane abo, okungukuthi, abazukulu abanceliswe ubisi.
“Fürû”
Lolu zihlobo, olubizwa kanjalo, luqhubeka ngendlela yozalo, kanti isizukulwane ngasinye esisha siba nomthetho wokwenqabela ukushada phakathi kwabazukulu abangamantombazane kanye nomkhulu wabo ngobisi.
3. Abafowethu noma odadewethu abazalwa ngabazali abafanayo, noma abazalwa ngoyise oyedwa, noma abazalwa ngunina oyedwa;
Abantwana abanceliswe ubisi ngumama oyedwa, abafana nabantombazana, bangabantwana abanceliswe ubisi; amantombazana abo. Umuntu akakwazi ukushada nabantombazana abanceliswe ubisi. Abantwana abanceliswe ubisi ngumama oyedwa bangabantwana abanceliswe ubisi. Abantwana abanceliswe ubisi ngumama oyedwa, kanye nabantwana abazalwa nguye, bangabantwana abanceliswe ubisi “abazalwa ngumama oyedwa”. Abantwana abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, kanye nabantwana abanceliswe ubisi ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama oyedwa, abazalwa ngumama
“okuyinhloko”
Uba umfowethu ngobisi. Umfowethu ngobisi, ovela kumfazi ohlukile womyeni ofanayo, naye uba “ngowobaba oyedwa” ngobisi. Umuntu akakwazi ukushada nanoma yimuphi walaba bafowethu ngobisi.
4. Oomakazi abazalwa ngabazali abafanayo, noma abazalwa ngubaba oyedwa, noma abazalwa ngumama oyedwa;
Abazali abamzalisayo, abazali abamncancisayo, abazalwane abamncancisayo, abazala abamncancisayo. Kulokhu, abazalwane abamncancisayo abazalwa ngubaba, abazalwane abamncancisayo abazalwa ngumama, nabo bayizihlobo zomncancisayo. Ngakho-ke, umncancisayo akakwazi ukushada nabazala bakhe abamncancisayo. Nakuba izihlobo zabazali abamncancisayo nazo ziyizihlobo zomncancisayo, izihlobo zomncancisayo ngaphandle komkakhe nezingane zakhe azizihlobo zabazali abamncancisayo. Ngokwesibonelo, umama womncancisayo angashada nobaba womncancisayo noma umfowabo.
Ngokuphathelene nobudlelwane bobisi, njengoba kuvame ukushiwo phakathi kwabantu.
“Ubisi alwehli, luyenyuka”
Siyakubeke ukuthi leli gama aliyona igama elisemthethweni. Izingane ezincela ubisi esifubeni esifanayo, ngisho noma zencela ngezikhathi ezahlukene futhi abazali bazo behlukene, zibhekwa njengabazalwane ngobisi, inqobo nje uma zencela ngesikhathi esifanayo. Ngakho-ke, intombazane encela ubisi ayikwazi ukushada nendodana yomama wayo omuhle, ngisho nendodana yendodana yakhe. Ukuthi indodana yazalwa ngaphambi noma ngemuva kokuncela kwentombazane, noma ngisho noma isikhathi esiphakathi kokuncela nokuzalwa sithatha iminyaka, akushintshi umphumela.
Ukuze uthole ulwazi mayelana nebhange lomama, chofoza lapha:
– Ingabe ukusungulwa kwebhange lobisi kuvumelekile, yiziphi izingozi zakhona, futhi yiziphi izinyathelo okufanele zithathwe ukuze ziqede lezo zingozi?
Ngiyabingelela ngithandazela…
UbuSulumane Ngemibuzo
